Orphaned
by Sarah1281
Summary: Breaking the news was always going to be horrible but it would have been better if her sister had been the one to do it. Unfortunately, Aurelia never could manage to bring herself to visit the Circle so Gamlen was left to tell Bethany about her mother.


Orphaned

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age.

Bethany knew that she shouldn't complain. After all, her father had mastered his magic long before she had come onto the scene and so their frequent moves and constant hiding had been for her sake. Her family had given everything they could and sacrificed any chance of normality to protect her while she just had to stay out of the way and watch them shape their lives around her. She had spent nineteen full years free and managed to get a better and more grounded magical education than her fellow mages who often turned to blood magic or demonology. She had never known what it was like to be rejected because she was a mage. Even when she'd gotten caught, it had been because she was careless with her magic.

She didn't like the Circle. There was no denying that. At first, it had almost been a relief to finally be here so she'd stop having to hide and get to be around other people like her for once. Quickly, that feeling faded. The companionship was nice but she was from a completely different world than the other mages. Many of them knew of no life before they came to a Circle and there were still times when Bethany woke up and didn't remember where she was. Some of the templars were just trying to do the Maker's will – even if they were too overzealous for her tastes – but others…when Ser Alrik had been mysteriously but violently murdered, she'd breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't _known_ anything but he had creeped her out more than anyone she had ever met.

The loss of her freedom to come and go as she pleased bothered her as well. While she had only come of age a few short years ago and always had to be careful due to her hidden magic, the amount of restrictions she was under now was hard to comprehend. She was even allowed visitors! It was usually her mother since Aurelia still couldn't bring herself to visit. It hurt but Bethany understood. Over the years Aurelia had actually become more anti-Circle than Bethany herself was. She didn't think that her older sister actually had strong feelings on the mage situation in general but Maker knew she actively opposed any and all restrictions placed on Bethany.

Bethany remembered all too well the growing feeling that the Circle might not be so bad and that if she just stopped running it would make life better for everyone around her. Certainly, with her in the Circle her mother and sister could stop worrying about needing to keep a low profile (hard to do as a noble anyway) and fearing the templars. Now they could be truly free, even if Bethany herself couldn't. Now she wanted nothing more than to leave even if she couldn't see a way out. If she asked, she knew Aurelia would kill every templar in Kirkwall to help her. Still, she had a phylactery now which meant that escape wouldn't be so easy and she really didn't want people dying in her name.

Still, she couldn't quite regret the fact that she had come to the Circle. It was nice not having to hide her magic, after all, and now she really understood. She had thought that life outside of the Circle was hard but that was nothing compared to life inside of it. She had tried to properly appreciate the sacrifices everyone was making (even if no one but Carver would admit that it was a sacrifice) but she now knew that she hadn't really been able to until she understood what it was that they were protecting her from. For all the talk she'd heard of the plight of the mages, she was only now capable of seeing what that really meant. She wouldn't dream of worrying her family with that, though, and so her letters were as upbeat as she could make them.

Maker knew that if Aurelia ever managed to talk herself into coming, she'd probably immediately interrogate her and have the full story in a matter of matters. After three years, though, Bethany was slowly giving up on the idea of Aurelia _ever_ coming even if she did write regularly. Still, her mother came every week. She might even be here right now although since she had just come two days ago and it wasn't a special occasion, Bethany wasn't sure why it would be her. Still, she had been told that she had a visitor and who else could it be?

Bethany stepped over the threshold into the visiting area and felt the magic drain out of her. Knight-Commander Meredith may allow mages to receive visitors but she also believed that it was the best chance for 'misguided' friends and family to help them escape and so during visiting hours the room always had templars using their abilities to prevent any form of magic from being used. Well, any but blood magic but Bethany didn't know anyone stupid enough to try something like that in front of the templar guards.

To her great surprise, it wasn't her mother but her uncle.

"Uncle Gamlen?" Bethany greeted, failing to keep the surprise out of her voice. Gamlen had accompanied her mother on her first visit (she suspected this wasn't entirely willingly) and hadn't been back since.

Gamlen looked absolutely ragged. His clothes were even more of a mess than they usually were – were her family not watching out for him? – and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week. There was a strong odor of alcohol coming from him but he didn't appear drunk. "Bethany."

"Is everything alright?" Bethany asked cautiously.

Gamlen opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Eventually, he just settled for shaking his head.

"Is it Aurelia?" Bethany demanded urgently. Of course it would be Aurelia. Aurelia was the smartest, strongest, more amazing person Bethany knew but she was also so reckless all the time. It had only been a matter of time until she got herself into some mess or another.

Again, Gamlen shook his head.

On the one hand, it was a great relief to know that her sister was safe. On the other, _something_ must have happened. "Is it…what happened?" she cried. It couldn't be her mother, could it? How could it be? She never got involved in anything dangerous and hated whenever Aurelia did.

"Your mother," Gamlen managed to choke out.

Bethany's heart stopped. "W-what?"

"She's…" Gamlen trailed off, looking away.

"_What happened to Mother?_"

There was a long silence. "She's dead."

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It couldn't be! Bethany had seen her mother only two days ago and she'd been perfectly fine! She couldn't possibly get sick enough to die in two days and she wasn't quite fifty! She didn't get herself mixed up in dangerous situations and Anders was a brilliant healer in case an accident had happened and this didn't make any sense!

As the silence stretched on, Gamlen risked a glance to her face. He must not have been comfortable with what he saw since he quickly glanced away again and shook his head. "Why did I have to volunteer to be the one to break the news? Damn Aurelia for looking so near tears…"

"How did she die?" Bethany managed to ask. This didn't feel real and that was the only reason that she was getting through this at all.

For the first time, Gamlen leveled his gaze on hers and held it. "Are you sure you want to know? Because if you do then I _will_ tell you but you'll probably regret asking. I regretted asking after you sister explained it to me."

"What happened?" Bethany repeated, her voice only shaking a little. It was bad enough that she hadn't been there and that she couldn't help secretly wondering if she would have been able to somehow save her if she had been there.

"Your sister said that she had started investigating some missing women back before that expedition they went on," Gamlen began. "Do you remember that?"

Bethany shuddered. "I do. We found those bones and that severed hand…Poor Ninette." A cold fear settled over her. No. It couldn't be. "Why are you telling me this? That was years ago!"

"Recently, the templar investigating picked up the trail. He named some nobleman as his suspect but, being protected by rank, the templar needed a technical civilian to check it out. Aurelia did but she was convinced he wasn't the murderer – despite being found with the next victim – and let him go. When she tried to let the templar know, she found him murdered. That seemed like the end of it," Gamlen continued.

"What does any of this have to do with Mother?" Bethany asked as calmly as she could, her mind refusing to make the obvious connection.

"Last night, your mother was supposed to meet me for dinner but she never showed up," Gamlen said solemnly, his pace increasing as if he just wanted to get this over and done with. "I waited for nearly an hour before I started to worry and I went to the estate to make sure everything was alright. That dwarf servant was just telling me that they hadn't seen Leandra when Aurelia got home. She hadn't seen your mother either but she didn't seem too concerned until the dwarf mentioned a suitor and indicated a vase of white lilies that had apparently arrived earlier that day."

"And that was…bad?" Bethany didn't get it and she really wished that her uncle would just hurry up and tell her what happened. Was it so hard to say 'she got hit by lightning' or whatever happened instead of giving her a full background? She could ask follow-up questions later if it was all that important.

"Aurelia said that Gascard, that's the man she let go, told her that white lilies were the mark of the serial killer and that he'd send some to his next victim right before taking them," Gamlen said quietly.

By now, Bethany's hands were beginning to tremble. No. "Are you saying that a s-serial killer took Mother?"

"Your sister certainly thought so. I couldn't believe it so I decided to go back to my place and look around the area. That's the first time Aurelia ever yelled at me. She went to go find Gascard and he did some blood magic ritual to take them to the girl he had been trying to protect," Gamlen continued.

Bethany's brow furrowed. "What good would that do? She wasn't with mother, was she?"

"Gascard said the girl had disappeared as well. Apparently they were in the same place. Your sister said it was the same place that you found the bones. She found…she found…" Gamlen couldn't continue.

"She found mother," Bethany supplied, feeling it difficult to breathe.

Gamlen nodded and the redness in his eyes became more striking. "It was too late. Of course it was too late. If there had been any chance you know that Aurelia would have saved her."

This was the part that her uncle had warned her about knowing, Bethany was sure of it. "What happened?"

"That bastard had cut off her head and stitched it onto the top of his monstrous creation," Gamlen growled. "That's why he killed the women, you see. He had a dead wife and he was trying to rebuild her from pieces of other women."

"That-that doesn't even make any sense," Bethany protested.

"He was a _mage_, you see," Gamlen spat. "And a blood mage, at that. Aurelia said that that thing lived long enough to say goodbye and that it was Leandra."

"Magic killed her," Bethany said hollowly. "A mage." Someone like her. She couldn't say that aloud for fear of Gamlen's agreement. She didn't think she could take that right now.

"That's what I said," Gamlen told her. "She had a face that looked like that bastard's wife's face – he's dead now – and so magic killed her. It had already taken her away from everything she had ever known and forced her to live as a peasant perpetually on the run and now it had killed her."

"You're right," Bethany whispered. She had never thought she would be grateful for the templars suppressing her magic before but she didn't want to feel like a mage just then and getting news like that might be enough to cause an accident.

Gamlen laughed bitterly. "Aurelia didn't think so. She reminded me that you were a mage and asked if I thought that you were a monster as well."

Bethany couldn't say anything.

Gamlen suddenly reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "I told her you weren't. I…this is coming out all wrong. She was my _sister_ but…this wasn't your fault, Bethany. I don't blame you, Aurelia doesn't blame you, and you're not a monster."

Bethany could only nod, not trusting herself to speak.

"I've made a right mess of this, haven't I? I knew I should have had your sister do this," Gamlen grumbled. "Listen, visiting hours aren't over for awhile yet. I'll stay with you for as long as you need me."

Bethany nodded again. She should be grateful for her uncle's support, she knew, especially as it couldn't be easy for him either and he wasn't really the supportive type.

Still, all she could think about was the fact that her mother was _gone gone gone_ and that her sister wasn't there.

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